


Home

by heademptyonlyangst



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Caring, Character Death, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Letters, Love, Love Letters, M/M, Oneshot, Sad Ushijima Wakatoshi, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29445009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heademptyonlyangst/pseuds/heademptyonlyangst
Summary: "I love you, my one and only home."
Relationships: Tendou Satori & Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Kudos: 22





	Home

Ushijima felt his eyes slowly open - not in a quick, flicking way, but not at all graceful either. The action was drowsy and forced, and, if it weren’t for the constant beeping of a notification, he would’ve stayed where he was.

Ignoring the pit in his stomach, Ushijima reached over to grab the phone on his nightstand and rolled onto his back (the bed was far too big for one…). With a hollow breath and half-lidded eyes, the man tapped on the home screen, wincing when the screen’s light filled up the shadowed room.

“Today’s event: Valentine’s Day.”

The man sat, frozen, for a moment as he stared at the notification. His breaths became labored, and he felt his heart squeeze with pain. Slowly, he tightened his grip, attempting to will the phone to break into hundreds of tiny pieces.

Just as his depression-fueled rage began to take hold of him, however, he noticed a small note beneath the date - one that he was certain he didn’t write himself. And, although he might not have paid it any mind if he were feeling himself, he found himself opening the message as the pit in his stomach deepened.

He hadn’t even made it past the first line and he felt himself choke.

“Hey Wakatoshi, it’s me, Satori! ;D

Happy Valentine's Day!

by now i’m probably gone, huh? I… I’m sorry I didn’t get to spend any more time with you, Wakatoshi. and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t want to worry you, ya know…?

it’s a dumb excuse but hey, I know at least we’re both dumb in this mess (I know you’re definitely blaming yourself right about now, you big dunce, so stop doing that!!)”

  
  


Ushijima wasn’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or both. Somehow, even in the afterlife, Satori had managed to tease and baby him. 

His heart hurt, but he couldn’t push away the fondness blooming within his chest.

  
  


“so uh, you may be thinking, ‘Satori, why are you writing this?’

actually you _did_ ask me this while I was trying to be sneaky about it, so my guess isn’t that much of a feat, but hey, it’s the thought that counts :P”

  
  


Ushijima lightly chuckled, not even noticing how he began to sit up in his bed. And, as the corners of his eyes crinkled and a small smile appeared on his face, he continued scrolling through the message.

  
  


“well, the reason is because I love you, duh 🙄

and... I know you, Wakatoshi. You’re a big lug with a bunch of emotions he doesn’t know what to do with, and I don’t want you to break over this.

I kinda hedged my bets with the date of this message, but everyone knows my time management skills are less than amazing, so…

I’m sorry if you had to bear with your pain before this, Wakatoshi.”

  
  


The line hit the man harder than he felt it should’ve, leaving him with the feeling that he had just been punched in the gut. His eyes remained still in the center of his phone as he swallowed back the lump in his throat.

Satori was 2 months late with his message.

Ushijima couldn’t find it in his heart to blame the man, though. Instead, he felt nothing but love - love for the red-haired, devilish strawberry who wanted nothing more than to make him feel happy. Comfortable. Loved.

And Satori _was_ always amazing at making him feel better.

  
  


“as we both know, I can’t be here with you for Valentine’s Day. I’m sorry.”

  
  


Ushijima took in a shaky breath.

  
  


“but what I can do is tell you how much I love you, Wakatoshi.

so... sorry if this is cheesy, but I’ve always been kind of a sap :)”

Ushijima furrowed his brows, flicking past a blank space before he felt his eyes widen with the appearance of a long, seemingly never ending list.

  
  


“Wakatoshi, I love the way that, when you smile, the corners of your eyes crinkle and, sometimes, when you’re really happy, you’ll have this huge, goofy grin on your face that makes me wanna jump on you and give you a hundred kisses.”

  
  


Ushijima’s heart lurched, and he found himself leaning forwards while his eyes raked over every message.

  
  


“I love how when you’re sick, my manly man will turn into a needy little puppy who clings onto me as if his life depends on it. Believe me, it’s super cute ;3

I love how when you’re playing volleyball, you always have this look in your eye - a sparkle that says ‘I _love_ this game.’ I can see that you’re really passionate about it, Wakatoshi. It makes me really, really happy too.

I love when I get to _see_ you doing things that you’re passionate about. There’s always this air about you that makes me wanna watch more and more and, sometimes, I can see you looking back at me. Like, ‘Look Satori, I’m doing well! I’m having fun!’

I love how cuddly you are. Whenever I’m sad, or even when I’m not, you always wrap me in these huge bear hugs that I can’t get enough of.

I love that you’re a scaredy cat when it comes to watching horror movies. It’s cute, Wakatoshi. No need to be embarrassed~ :3”

I love how good looking you are. Sorry, Wakatoshi, this couldn’t go without saying. Because believe me, you are _smokin_ ’! 😳

^^ I love how even though you’re smokin’, though, you’d always push aside your fangirls for me. I never minded - really, I didn’t, it’s a part of fame and I know you’d never betray me - but you’d always tell them “I’m already married” and do your goofy thing and pick me up to prove it. You can’t imagine how happy that made me feel.

I love the way you look at me. How it’s as if I’m the only one in the world you can see in that one moment. It makes me feel so special, and every day I prayed I could see it again and again. And P.S., I looked at you the same way.”

  
  


Although his heart was in so, _so_ much pain, Ushijima couldn’t help but continue reading - the fondness within him far outweighing the sadness.

  
  


“I love the way that you understand me. I know even my closest friends don’t see what you see, Wakatoshi. Unlike the people from my childhood, you don’t see a monster, you see your Satori. Unlike my friends, you don’t see some goofy kid, you see the one you love. With you, I can be myself.

I love you because, with you, all my problems disappear. It’s as if nothing matters anymore except me and you. Stress and worries melt away, and I can joke around and love you as much as I want. Even if we were the only ones in this wild world, I’d be still happy if it meant having you be by my side.

I love that you can make me smile when nobody else can. Even when my heart hurts, even when nobody else notices, _you_ do. The first time you mentioned it, I was scared. Scared you’d peer into my soul and call me a freak like everyone else. But now, I love that about you, Wakatoshi. I love that you always panic and do whatever you can do to cheer me up again, even if it’s pretty goofy (Remember that time you couldn’t figure out what was wrong so you bought me that huge teddy bear? That was adorable ❤️)

I love that I can feel safe around you. I know you’d never do _anything_ to hurt me - physically, mentally, or emotionally. And, if anyone were to try and pull anything, I know you’d be right by my side in an instant.

I love that, even when I quit playing volleyball, you didn’t get upset and instead bought me everything I needed for my little chocolate shop. Even as I protested, ya goose ;P

I love that you always let me tell you stupid little pickup lines. The way you always got so flustered made my heart soar and, the one time you tried to get me back was the most hilarious, endearing thing I’ve ever heard (“Satori, did you fall from heaven…? Because you look very beautiful.”) What a charmer you are ;)

I love that you let me fuss over you. It’s hilarious when I see people go bug-eyed as I teased my cute 6ft tall Wakatoshi as if you might swat me into the ground at any moment. Also, it’s really adorable >;3

I love the way you trust me no matter what. Every time I asked you if I should do something, you told me, ‘Satori, I don’t mind. I believe in your choices.’ And I know that didn’t mean anything bad - you weren’t trying to force me to make all of the decisions. You trusted me with every bone in your body, and it always made me feel like a fawning schoolgirl~

I love when you always make any excuse to love me. How you hug me at any chance you get, pretending like you’re sly when you ‘reach over to grab something’ but actually put your arm around me, or when you kiss my forehead when you think I’m asleep.

I love when you proposed to me. How you fumbled over yourself and, for weeks I knew it was coming because you were so obvious with asking me things about it, but it was romantic anyway because we both loved each other like crazy.

I love that you make time for me, even when you’re busy. The first time you called while at your training camp, you made my day. Do you remember what you said?”

  
  


Ushijima paused, squeezing his eyes shut as he recounted the event in his head.

“Wakatoshi! How come you’re calling? Aren’t you at practice?”

The man remained silent for a moment before confusedly replying. “Yes, I am. But what’s more important is you.”

Satori laughed at the man’s reply. “Aw, c’mon, I bet you’re just homesick.”

“Yes, I am. I wish you were here.”

“Ehh? What do you mean? Do you know what homesickness is, ya goof?” Satori joked.

Ushijima replied a matter of factly, with nothing but seriousness in his voice. “Yes. You are my home, Satori. I miss you.”

  
  


“You are my home, Satori. I miss you. That’s what you said.

I’m sure you remember that, though. After all, I know you’re a sap too, Wakatoshi. You always did have a way of making my heart flutter.”

  
  


Ushijima felt his eyes sting - tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. “I… I know, Satori… And I still miss you…”

  
“And… Here’s something I know you might not want to hear, Wakatoshi. But I think you need a new home.”

  
  


Ushijima froze.

  
  


“I want you to show someone else your smile. 

The way you’re a clingy, loveable bastard. 

The passion that you have for what you love and giving them a look that shows you want them to be proud of you. 

The way you’re a cuddly, huggable oaf. 

The way you get scared even though anybody who looks at you would be confused. 

The way you’re so, so beautiful, but always make room for the one you love and _show_ them that they mean more to you than anyone else. 

The way that you can be so understanding. 

The way that you see what others don’t. 

The way that you can make someone’s problems disappear. 

The way that you can make someone smile as if it were nothing, yet somehow means everything. 

The way you can make people feel safe. 

The way you can be so protective. 

The way you can make people smile, and the way that you panic trying to figure out how. 

The way that you always believe in people and push them towards their dreams. 

The way that you get flustered. 

The way that you can be fussed over. 

The ways that you show your trust. 

The way that you show your love. 

The way that you’re always, _always_ there no matter what.

Even if I’m not here, I want you to be happy. I want someone else to be happy because _you’re_ happy. I want you to be happy _with_ them.

I may be your home, Wakatoshi, but I hope ya can find a real estate agent, because I’m not letting your beautiful, amazing self wither away into nothingness for me.

Remember, Wakatoshi, I love you and I always will. But you deserve to be happy. You deserve to make _someone else_ happy.

I love you, my one and only home.

~Satori Ushijima.

Ushijima remained still for what seemed like hours - with nothing but the sounds of his heartbeat and breaths to accompany him. But eventually, he stood up, and he nodded.

“Satori,” he whispered. “I can never replace you. But I won’t let your dream be wasted away. I love you, my home…”


End file.
